I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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