I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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