I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
