My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
