I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
