So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Text me some of your sweat
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