My room smells like vodka and shame
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
