is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My life is pants optional.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
