we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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