its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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