He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize