I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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