I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
