apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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