Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
