All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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