the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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