my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
