Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
