You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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