I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Who died my cat blue again?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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