Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
