i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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