there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
