I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
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My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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