Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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