Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
