My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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