In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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