remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
