i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
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while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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