I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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