im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
