READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
