I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
