oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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