Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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