I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
