Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
