And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
