I think I am morally bankrupt
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
