your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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