You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize