my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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