another moral hangover. fuck.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
