i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
