your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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