She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
