never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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