i don't like sucking hair
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
