It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
