I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
