Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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