It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
