How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
