Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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