Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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