Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
