Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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